white dove chaun conscious


I’d like to share my experience of being hospitalized under section 2 and 3 of the mental health Act. When I first went in it was because of an altercation with my grandparent and her husband. They would not let me in the house, seemingly because I had schizophrenia they didn’t feel comfortable with me in the house. I turned up outside their home one November evening and forced my way in. The next thing I know is I’m being escorted out by the police.

I ended up in the exclusion room after the first psychiatrist ward I refused to stay in. I forced my way out of that place by physically pushing past the nurses. They then sent me to the Macarthur center in west Bromwich. The nightmare began after about 3- weeks staying in the hospital. It’s not that staying there was particularly bad it just went on for too long. At some point I lost my cognitive skills and became seemingly medicated, finding it harder to construct sentences.

I stayed at the hospital for way too long. It left me with a permanent state of psychosis where I’m never all the way together, my mind is always somewhere else, I’m traumatized.

I knew I wasn’t safe when the doctor yelled at me “you’re psychotic”. I refused to take the tablets, something I now regret massively. It was only after spitting the tablets out when they started to forcibly inject me with zuclopenthixol decaenate. They forced the injection and I felt violated. At one point I did a naked protest and that only confirmed that I needed to be there.

There was the option to appeal my section I wish I took it. It would have meant staying there for just a month rather than the 3 long months is turned out to be. I did not feel safe with the doctor. He was evil. He seemed to know my diagnosis before even giving me a chance to express it. He already deemed me to have schizophrenia and therefore the maximum dosage before I even had a chance to stabilize and recalibrate. He seemed to stereotype me as “psychotic” and refused my request to take the medication orally. It messed with my cognition, such that I struggle to concentrate on any given task. My mind is not all the way there.

Overall the hospitalisation experience was a nightmare. It left me with ptsd which I am still recovering from.

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Everything I've been through in life has brought me to this single realisation: I live for love. I'm a passionate Manchester United fan, singer, rapper, songwriter and artistic performer. My sound is 'Tribal Electro Hip Hop'. I'm the Author of The Nu Vibe Book of Divine Truth. I'm also the author and founder of Cazoom Maths, 'Professional Maths Worksheets'. Whether I'm singing, rapping or writing, there’s a healing intention. I'm passionate about humans, freedom and happiness for all people. My becoming has been a miracle.

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